1. Wear Jeffrey Campbell Lita boots (this is a MUST).
2. Wear all your rings at the same time. It doesn't matter if they don't match your outfit.
3. Wear that Michael Kors oversized golden watch.
4. When you have no new outfit pictures, do a post showcasing your jewelry collection ...
5. ... or publish an "inspiration" post with 10 completely unrelated pictures and no explanation why you like them. Bonus points if you don't credit the source!
6. Post 50 pictures of one outfit.
7. When you eat out, post badly lit, grainy pictures of restaurant food.
8. Create the illusion that you wear super high heels 24/7 by including them in every outfit shoot.
9. Wear crosses (regardless of your religion or lack thereof).
10. Have a photographer boyfriend with DSLR camera in auto-mode follow you everywhere.
Here it is: a bunch of completely different rings, all on one hand!
11. Put up a disclaimer saying you'll let your readers know if you're paid or compensated to endorse a certain brand or product. Then don't.
12. Wear so many "it" designer items at once that you end up looking like you got your outfit at H&M.
13. Host sponsored giveaways. To enter, people must be your fans on Facebook, follow you on Blogger, Google Friend Connect and Twitter, subscribe via Bloglovin and like the sponsor's Facebook page.
They should also leave a comment listing their favorite item from an online store they don't care about, as well as describing what they would wear it with. Oh, and the giveaway is open to US and Canada residents only!
14. Post pictures of yourself in your bedroom. Pose on your bed to hide the fact that your room is cluttered and untidy.
15. To get more visits, spam other blogs with two-word comments like "great outfit" followed by links to your blog, Twitter and Facebook pages.
16. Post ecstatic quasi-reviews of collections from the brands you want to sponsor you.
17. Wear geeky black thick-rimmed glasses or rapist glasses. Applies especially if you have perfect eyesight and are not actually a geek or rapist!
18. Design a (shoe, clothing, handbag) collection consisting of items you wouldn't look twice at if you saw them in a store.
19. Dress differently in everyday life than in outfit pictures.
20. Own iPads, iPhones and Blackberries. Brag about them regularly by using them in your outfit pictures as "accessories".
If you liked this post, please share it on Facebook or Twitter. Thank you!
UPDATE: Check out 15 more sarcastic tips to become a popular fashion blogger!
January 17, 2011 at 7:22 PM
I agree, u've got a point!
Irena recently posted STYLENOTE 4 WISHLIST X Spring 2011
January 17, 2011 at 7:58 PM
That pretty much sums up two blog I follow :)
I like your ring ensemble though.
ana recently posted fridays are always the best
January 17, 2011 at 8:13 PM
I actually had trouble finding 5 rings. That's practically all the rings I own and also the reason why there aren't 10. :D
January 17, 2011 at 8:02 PM
Don't forget:
21. Boast around your skull McQueen ring
22. Say you're going to London-Milan-New York for "work" and then only get drunk attending a party. And taking pictures of everything from toilets to tablecloths.
23. Wearing shorts despite the penguins are walking near you
And I'd have so much more but then I'd sound polemical! But you made me laugh of course ahah!
Vivian recently posted My office is full of clothes!
January 17, 2011 at 8:11 PM
Vivian, your comments on that subject are always spot-on. And it's as if you knew I was thinking about part 2 too! :))
January 26, 2011 at 11:05 AM
Hhahah! This was funny too :)
Tanvi recently posted Guest Post by French Leave Blog
February 24, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Agreeing with Vivian here and I'm adding an A to her points.
21a. Touching your face or showing something clearly to show your YSL arty ring
22a. Rub in our faces that you're going all these places, that you're almost front row seat at fashion shows, take pictures at shows which no one cares because they're gonna see it on style or vogue pages.
23a. Wear sandals outside the fashion show just to catch an eye of a street style photographer. C'mon! Of course next day cry like a baby on your blog how you caught cold and pneumonia.
I say (most of) bloggers have fear of being common, plain and simple. That's why they're putting on an act.
Vanja recently posted love is simple
May 31, 2011 at 3:33 AM
I love your number 23.
Mia recently posted Do you like to dress like Julianne Hough
January 17, 2011 at 8:15 PM
See? I looked polemical! Aahahha! Oh well, f your second post about that will include pictures, I'll buid up a Eva Statue!
Vivian recently posted My office is full of clothes!
January 17, 2011 at 8:19 PM
haha, exceent list :) but i must say i actually like the rings picture :D
anne recently posted female characters
January 17, 2011 at 8:21 PM
You don't say? My eyes ... *cries* :D
January 17, 2011 at 8:24 PM
EPIC WIN! maybe you could also mention the unhealthy obsession with the Olsen twins that most of the bloggers seem to share. I like the (mis)matched rings though!
now I'm tempted to leave links to my facebook, twitter, tumblr and all the other accounts/profiles of mine :D
duckalicious recently posted Boyfriend Girlfriend
January 17, 2011 at 8:27 PM
oh, and I often look like I got everything at H&M because, well, I really did! :D
duckalicious recently posted Boyfriend Girlfriend
January 17, 2011 at 8:37 PM
Argh, evil duck!! :D
You're so right about weird obsessions with celebrity "style icons" (do you hear me, Alexa Chung?). I have a feeling there will be part 2 of this list.
January 17, 2011 at 8:31 PM
#5 and #6 cracked me up. I do encourage a lot of rings -- but only if they're designed by me. If not -- meh. And I confess I love the Litas but never see them in my size so have given up on them even though since most of my real life has nothing to do with ashion blogging, they'd be really unique ;-)
WendyB recently posted Questions- Comments- Fingers- Rings and Manicures
January 17, 2011 at 8:31 PM
*fashion* blogging, not *ashion* blogging.
WendyB recently posted Questions- Comments- Fingers- Rings and Manicures
January 17, 2011 at 8:35 PM
I adore the Litas and if everyone else on this planet didn't have them already, I'd most likely go for them. An item becomes "it" so quickly in the fashion blogosphere, it's unnerving.
January 17, 2011 at 9:02 PM
It wouldn't be so funny if it weren't the truth! :)
January 17, 2011 at 9:38 PM
eh eh you have done a great job, I laughed a lot with this, but the bitter sweet part is that it's all true ! I'm looking forward to part II of this ;)
Wicked Halo recently posted Madame Peripetie
January 17, 2011 at 10:16 PM
ahahaha love it! so true
Jelena K. recently posted Modna fantazija
January 17, 2011 at 11:55 PM
There are some blogs that do some of these things, but they were the originators, it's like you can tell which ones are trying to copy "the formula." And you should add Must love Celine. (Celine seems to be this season's Balmain).
January 17, 2011 at 11:59 PM
OMG XD I loved it! Epic & hilarious!
ÂniaF # recently posted When you dont have voice- at least you have fingers
January 18, 2011 at 2:23 AM
i feel bad about that "US and Canada residents only"... :(
Nr. 2 should have a supplement of the "middle finger up" gesture ;B
January 18, 2011 at 8:32 AM
Don't feel bad! Your giveaway(s) didn't make it mandatory to follow you on 4734828 sites. It's just a combo of all those things that I think is sort of bad.
January 29, 2011 at 4:29 PM
Sadly, sometimes it's the brand's request to do the extra entries... I only ever do it if they ask (but I think that I've only done it on international giveaways). Usually I just go for a comment, or one thing (like Facebook following)....
But when EVERY contest is like that? Yuck!
January 18, 2011 at 6:09 AM
haha its all soo true i do love jeffrey campbell shoes tho but alas they're all mega high and im tall enough already :/
fuyume recently posted OOTD
January 18, 2011 at 2:05 PM
Eva, ti si res carica!
Zdaj vem, zakaj mi ne uspeva najbolj. Samo ene tri pogoje spolnjujem. Polno fotk od enega outfita, potem občasno fotke na postelji (ker je moja soba majhna in ponavadi razmetana) in v vsakdanjem življenju se oblačim drugače kot na fotkah. Moj vsakdanjik je namreč predvsem ustvarjanje, kuhanje, opravki po bajti in okrog nje, cartanje psov in sedenje za računalnikom. In večina teh opravil pomeni, da so moja oblačila polna pack.
Ko bom novi post objavila, se moram spomnit, da dam not povezavo do tega seznama (:
Mir in ljubezen!
beba recently posted Baggy jeans
January 18, 2011 at 2:18 PM
Če je tako, ti svetujem, da čim prej spraviš skupaj inspirejšn post (da bodo lahko ljudje razumeli tvojo prefinjeno estetiko, predstavljeno v ukradenih fotkah) in začneš nositi ogromna črna očala. In pa seveda več spam komentarjev! To zadnje je res bistvo bloganja in korak, ki ga moraš dosledno vključevati v svojo dnevno rutino.
;)
January 18, 2011 at 5:43 PM
Thank you for the tips, haha! Very cheeky.
Laura Connell recently posted Nick Knight challenges fashion’s beauty ideal
January 18, 2011 at 10:22 PM
Brez besed sem ostala, to je popoln povzetek vseh ''fashion'' blogov v enem postu. :) Aplavdiram!
January 19, 2011 at 4:39 PM
"I adore the Litas and if everyone else on this planet didn't have them already, I'd most likely go for them. An item becomes "it" so quickly in the fashion blogosphere, it's unnerving." Well, that's strange. You don't wear Liats just because everyone else has them. I thought you were the blogger that doesn't care about what other people wear so much, that would have influence on your choice about fashion.
January 19, 2011 at 5:37 PM
I started writing a reply to your comment, but it got very long and I'm going to publish it as a separate post soon. Thanks for getting my creative juices flowing! :)
EDIT: It looks like I won't get the post done anytime soon (studying for exams), so here's what I think:
You're right that I don't care about what other people wear so much. However, in case of the Litas, it's not about that. The problem is that they've been done to death, so they're not challenging to me any more. I like them from an aesthetic point of view. This point of view is important to me, but it's never the only view.
January 22, 2011 at 8:55 PM
Haha, it can't be written more right. Stereotypes to the max!
January 23, 2011 at 11:57 AM
Thanks for coming through and commenting on my blog.
I was delight to find this post upon loading up your blog. It put a huge smile on my face, so much of what you wrote is true I think everyone should take it with a pinch of salt though. I loved this post.
@arashmazinani
January 24, 2011 at 7:26 PM
This is so funny and so true. :D I can see myself/blog in this post... I need to improve my blog :D
Scocia recently posted Protect your hair from heat
January 24, 2011 at 8:29 PM
HHAHHAHa! you are so funny! It is official then, I will never make it bigtime , I am fat: strike one.lol I only wear one ring at a time, take my pics with a crap camera, own one pair of wedges, actually wear the stuff I show on my blog etc etc. oh well. I love your blog though lol xx
Anika http://byanika.com recently posted Coming into focus in loud stripes and florals
January 26, 2011 at 10:50 AM
Hahahahahhahaha laughed so hard while reading this that my stomach is actually aching!!
Leia recently posted Diamante French
January 26, 2011 at 11:02 AM
You nailed it with this one. So true ... and hence funny!!! Good One :)
January 29, 2011 at 3:02 PM
ha ha! so true :D I noticed more than 50% of what you said at most of the fashion blogs I read.
p.s: I love the 'shoe' gif at the end of the page!
Rux recently posted TGIF- Polyvore Contest- Young Fashion Designers & Pink Princesses
January 29, 2011 at 4:30 PM
This is one of the most fantastic & hysterical posts I've read in AGES!
January 30, 2011 at 10:48 PM
Oh my God, I love this post so much. I was starting to feel like I was the only one who noticed that the most popular blogs (and even the new bloggers who want to become the next "it" blog) all. Look. The same. I'm going to bookmark this list, so the next time I'm browsing a blog, and wondering "where have I seen this before?" I can check off these things to pinpoint exactly *where* I saw it:
Everywhere!
February 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Uh, this made my day :) so funny. A very good post.
May I just add: erase critic comments from readers.
I've experienced it few times. I posted my personal opinion of the shoe collection this blogger is doing and got erased, posted comment about the Celine bag blogger frenzy - got erased.
So I learned. Now I rarely comment on anyone's blog. It's not worth it.
Yours is :)
vanja recently posted woodstack
February 6, 2011 at 9:58 PM
Ha ha! So true I nearly fell off the sofa laughing! Can't believe I only discovered your blog today - fantastically insightful and, judging by this post, very funny indeed : )
SJP recently posted Lust Have- Tatty Devines new collection Yes- all of it
February 11, 2011 at 3:35 PM
LMAO at 1 and 10. OMG gonna die!
February 12, 2011 at 12:54 AM
This made me giggle - I was thinking that about the pictures of rings too!
I like it when people post pictures of thier jewellery or their shoes on a ledge instead of an outfit post - I think objects are beautiful in themselves and I like seeing how people store their stuff!
Veshoevius recently posted Friend Friday - Colour Wars
February 19, 2011 at 2:43 AM
I am guilty of a lot of these, especially the rings (but I have always loved rings) and I still giggled xo
February 23, 2011 at 1:01 AM
This is so true! I've noticed these characteristics on many fashion blogs! It gets annoying after a while. They should write something more resourceful.
http://thesequindiaries.wordpress.com/
ELYSSA CAMPBELL recently posted Your Time to Shine!
February 24, 2011 at 12:58 AM
Okay, most of this made me chuckle because I've seen far too many bloggers guilty of these things, and some of them made me cringe. I apologize for feeling the need to defend myself, but: I'm madly in love with my Michael Kors over-sized watch, but I've always had a thing for wearing huge guys watches way before blogging and had my favored watch since before my blog began. I'm wearing heels in almost all my outfit posts, but I actually am almost always in heels, which is why the older gentleman who works at the deli counter at the grocery store is always chastising me and telling me in 10 years I'll need to have all my toes removed. My bf *is* my "photographer", but at least he's finally gotten comfortable experimenting outside of auto-mode. And yes, I have a rather large collection of geek/rapist glasses that I adore even if my vision is near perfect. BUT at least I can admit I can't afford the ever trendy Jeffrey Campbell Lita boots. ;)
xo http://www.RavingFashionista.com
Sarah {Raving Fashionista} recently posted Slightly Smoldering
May 31, 2011 at 3:35 AM
Thank you for this blog. You make me realize that I should be who I am and write what I want. Something that others do may be not suitable to me, and I don't need to follow them.
Mia recently posted Do you like to dress like Julianne Hough
June 16, 2011 at 5:30 PM
Hahaha I enjoyed this a lot!
Vanessa K recently posted winter warmth
August 9, 2011 at 3:25 PM
Hilarious. I think I'll actually start a blog, using these tips, and see how successful it turns out haha. Keep you updated.
August 13, 2011 at 4:52 AM
I am laughing because you are so right!
September 8, 2011 at 2:00 PM
Eva,
As a sarcastic person, I must say that I enjoyed this post thoroughly. I cannot stop laughing. It's so refreshing how you can take light of everything I hate about fashion bloggers today. You will truly remain one of my favorites because you stand out in both creative writing and in your timeless sense of fashion and style.
hugs xx
October 3, 2011 at 3:15 PM
I will forever love you for this comment. Thank you so much!
September 14, 2011 at 5:29 PM
Spot on! I love this post, it made me laugh. I just found your blog and I'm enjoying reading some of your posts :)
September 25, 2011 at 5:58 PM
This is hilarious!! I have a really unpopular blog and i'm starting to think that i need to find myself a photographer boyfriend fast! and i'm totally willing to spend all my money in a jeffrey campbell shoes. I'll let you know if someday i become the "most influential blogger ever". Hahaha!!
xx
October 3, 2011 at 3:15 PM
Good luck with your mission! :)
December 7, 2011 at 6:08 PM
this post is laugh out loud hysterical...
i love your wit and and sense of humor. I will def be visiting regularly.
December 11, 2011 at 2:58 AM
Yikes! I'm guilty of # 6,7,8,9! But in my defense, I do love taking pictures of pretty food, I never wear flats, and I do wear crosses all the time! But the whole 'Lita thing, I never got it. Horrible shoes!
December 15, 2011 at 11:42 AM
I'm rolling over the floor laughing on the inside. The best criticisms always come in dsiguise!
Shophopper recently posted Which fictional customer would you be?
December 21, 2011 at 6:58 PM
Thank you! I started to blog about my own lack of fashion, in an attempt to force myself to get dressed (I'm a SAHM so pj's are often all day attire). I almost quik, but after reading this post I say screw it... if my blog is not like most other fashion blogs, that is a goooood thing!
L A recently posted Day 3 - Even LESS fashion
December 26, 2011 at 9:52 AM
Super funny. You say it's sarcastic...but it's the true fashion blogger template. Take off the big flower ring...and I think you're on to something. Nice rings. :-)
December 26, 2011 at 8:07 PM
This is hilarious! I have to admit, I'm a victim of the Lita craze. But I promise I like them for the way they look, not because everyone else has them! Thankfully I've managed to avoid most of the other ones.
January 17, 2012 at 2:06 AM
Hmmm, I see, so this is how the big players do it. Very educational and insightful...I think I may have to apply points 2, 6, 7 and 8 if I want to make it big hehe... :P
Yishi recently posted OOTD and Haul!
February 9, 2012 at 4:25 PM
ahahaha, this is so funny! I think there should be a video with this list :)
bisous,
mia
HEYLILAHEY
February 21, 2012 at 11:16 PM
Hahahaha this is so true!
Anastasia recently posted J'adore Leopard
April 3, 2012 at 5:17 PM
I like this post. Is is very ironical but I think that fashion bloggers are no different from people in the industry. Just that they did NOT have a foot in the door like the ones already working there, so they try their best, even with these sometimes ridiculous methods. The thing is: it works. And it gave people who never could have made it in the industry to actually make it.
July 28, 2012 at 7:14 PM
Ahahahaha so funny...and true!
silvia recently posted Editorial sau Advertorial?
August 13, 2012 at 10:59 AM
omg I love you!
hahaha! Parfait! xxx
March 25, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Shared! You forgot about 10000 hashtags on stupid photos on Instagram :)
March 25, 2013 at 10:24 PM
You're absolutely correct. When I was writing these sarcastic tips posts, Instagram was not so popular yet (or didn't even exist?) so bloggers weren't doing this. Recently, however, I've had to unfollow several hashtag abusers because 10000 hashtags under one picture totally clutter my feed.
March 25, 2013 at 11:01 PM
I started following your blog only because of this one post. ..realy
Sooo true
Senra
March 25, 2013 at 11:17 PM
Hi Senra, thanks for following!